It’s my blog and I’ll brag if I want to, brag if I want to, brag if I want to. You would brag too if it happened to you. (Name that tune...hehehe.) Christian brought me home a bumper sticker that He EARNED (notice the capped word there, please) to put on my truck. It says, HONOR ROLL STUDENT!! Sweet, huh? Every day in His planner, His teacher has written the most complimentary and encouraging comments. We are off to a great start!

My buddy Karma and I are sitting, sipping coffee and having a most satisfying moment. Life is good. I had a different view of the world five years ago. A year ago. Six months ago. There were many times that I didn’t think that my heart, mind, soul, sanity, would survive. There were times that I wasn’t sure that I wanted to survive. As a matter of fact, I was quite sure that I didn’t want to. But I did. And I’m really happy about it.

A very sweet dear vixenette baby called me on the phone a few nights ago. She was having a terribly rough night. There were things that she needed to say, things that she needed someone to hear. She needed to be able to ask questions, even if there were no answers. She is absolutely adorable, but cannot see it. Someone has wounded her too deeply. They have taken her true mirror image away from her.

Her pain was so overwhelming, so heartbreaking. She said, “ I hate this! I sit... and I cry... and I hurt... and the people that hurt me get to walk around.. like nothing has ever happened. They don’t hurt at all. Why don‘t they have to hurt like I do?” It’s like stabbing someone with a knife. The Stabber isn’t going to feel the pain that they have inflicted on the Stabee. They aren’t going to sport the scars, go through the healing processes.

Caits and I had this same discussion. They want life to be fair. It’s not ever going to be fair. When someone hurts us, we want to know that they hurt the same way we do. I think they already do, we just don‘t see the wounds that they carry around with them. We aren’t the gator that takes a chunk out of them. What is actually happening is, we are paying the price for the wounds that someone else inflicted on them. It can get to be a vicious cycle of being wounded, then lashing out and wounding others. By the time you have a few years under your belt, this becomes known as “baggage.”

A wounded critter is not a pleasant thing. It happens to all of us. No one on this earth is exempt from it. It’s how we come out of our season of hurt and then healing, that determines the kind of person we will be, as we pick up and continue on our journey. Happy people aren’t cruel people. Satisfied people are not vindictive people. Content people do not create chaos, drama and heartache.

They are kind of like the zombies in the Dawn of the Dead. They go around chewing people up and turning them into the same harmful, soulless critters that they are. It has become their nature. Mindless hunters in search of , something, anything that will ease their own pain. There is only ONE form of revenge. That is to LIVE WELL, be happy, leave them to wallow in their own disillusionment, pain, unhappiness, insecurity, delusions.

Stop wishing for that careening bus, twister tossed condo, asphyxiating chicken bone, disease-ridden vixen-gone-wrong, Stop thinking that you can save them, rescue them from their pain and addictions. They also wear the ruby slippers. Even if you draw them a diagramed picture of how they work, you can’t make them click their heels together. They have to WANT to.

Cait and I watched a wonderful movie that we both highly recommend. Dangerous Minds with Michelle Pfiffer. She is a teacher in a class room of social misfits, reminiscent of the film, To Sir With Love. When she informs them that she will be leaving the school, one of the students makes a very poignant statement. He names off the students that have dropped out of her class for various reasons. Then He asks her, “What about those of us that are here, don’t we matter? Isn’t our love good enough for you?”

She wanted to save each and everyone of them. Each empty seat that she saw, she viewed as a failure, instead of seeing each student in their seat as a success. A main theme through out the movie also centered around the word choice/choose. Everyone gets to choose their own paths, make their own choices. She makes a statement in the movie that I think most of us can relate to at some point in our lives. ‘Sometimes we take a wrong turn, and just keep going.’

If someone is hell bent on their own destruction nothing that you do or say will change that. Instead, focus on the ones that are reaching out to you, welcoming your light, warmth and love into their lives.

You can lead a hound to the Wizard, but you can’t make Him think.

Til next time...Love, sassy v

© sassy vixen1 2005

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for the respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape, the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape of my heart